Here's What I Remember

From the morning of surgery:

• The surgical team was all business.  I started to freak out when I said goodbye to Kevin and my mom.  The nurse was there to calm me down before we got into the operating room.  She was good.
• Walked into the OR and there were about 5 people there - several nurses and the resident anesthesiologist, whom I had met earlier that morning.
• They moved very briskly to get me on the table and IV started.  They had no problem finding a vein and it didn't hurt at all.  The whole process was awesomely orchestrated.
• Some issues with latex - switched it all out at the last minute.  Resident anesthsiologist indicated I just had redness issues and no breathing issues.  Head anesthilogist said 'yeah, I've heard that before' and they switched it out.
• Nurse makes comments about me being skinny, and all i could think to say was, "it's the keppra diet'.  Yes, I know I'm skinny, and why every goddamn nurse had to comment on my weight each day was annoying.  Don't you think it could have something to do with the tumor growing in my head?!
• Then the 'wizard of oz' (aka Dr. Scott Shapiro) makes his entrance.  Not one moment before he needed to be there.  It was awesome.  More on this later.
• I remember Shapiro waking me up and saying it was all done.  And I remember thanking him.
• I knew I was getting a CT scan - and then I was aware of having 2 seizures right in a row.  That sucked.
• I remember being back in the NICU....and too much going on.  Too many people.  Trying to say hi and getting too close.  In a few days I will write a list of 'what NOT to do' when your friend/family member comes out of brain surgery.  Bottom line: "back the 'f' off' and don't crowd them.
• I clearly remember the 3rd seizure in the room.  The nurse was awesome.  I remember calling Kevin's name and saying "seizure".  I remember people holding my arms and legs.  I remember coming out of it saying, "I'm all right, I'm okay, I'm okay".  And breathing as deeply as I could.  And hopefully I'll never have another one of those again!